It's been coming for a while. just not being happy, things not feeling right. i kept thinking it was probably my bpd, that it was chemical, and i'm just doubting myself again. it got more stressful and deeper, and yesterday i hit a wall. i realized i didn't want to sell clothes anymore. it had a real good run. i did it for a looong time, put a lot of money into it, worked hard, and loved it. but it didn't do for me what i needed it to do, and something inside was trying to tell me it was time to move on. it's been real emotional. like i am losing someone or a great friendship. i still want to sew, but not on this level anymore. i have been told by those in the know, that it happens to big designers too. they just can't make the bucks, and have to turn to a new page. i wanted to have "it", i thought i had "it", but in reality, i think it was hit and miss. sometimes i had it, but not all the time. i started getting tired, and bored. i wasn't waking up anymore going "oh boy! what am i going to sew today???!!!" I wanted to sell a bunch of my collection so i could go to my high school reunion(40th!) in october. i have never been to one. my son said, "why don't you sell your serger and use the money?" i said no, i don't want to get rid of my machines. i still want to sew, for myself and my friends and family. and i can still do custom work. i have great ideas, but they don't always come thru in the finished product. maybe i just never discovered who i was, and that was why it wasn't working. maybe i need more skill(i do). maybe later on, i'll follow through in these things and open up a new store.
so now, i'm going to concentrate on photography. i have had several shows of my photos and my art. i have sold both. i want to get back to showing, and selling prints. i already am serious about it...but not in a "i have to do this" way. i think i want to paint too again, but i don't know where that is going to fit back in. i am following my inner voice. this feels right. i appreciate all your comments and feedback, keep it coming, because it really helps. xxx
oh! and everything in the store is 40-50% off . come get a good deal xoxoxo