Wednesday, August 17, 2011

"I'll tell you what kind of sign, it's a going out of business sign!"

It's been coming for a while. just not being happy, things not feeling right. i kept thinking it was probably my bpd, that it was chemical, and i'm just doubting myself again. it got more stressful and deeper, and yesterday i hit a wall. i realized i didn't want to sell clothes anymore. it had a real good run. i did it for a looong time, put a lot of money into it, worked hard, and loved it. but it didn't do for me what i needed it to do, and something inside was trying to tell me it was time to move on. it's been real emotional. like i am losing someone or a great friendship. i still want to sew, but not on this level anymore. i have been told by those in the know, that it happens to big designers too. they just can't make the bucks, and have to turn to a new page.  i wanted to have "it", i thought i had "it", but in reality, i think it was hit and miss. sometimes i had it, but not all the time. i started getting tired, and bored. i wasn't waking up anymore going "oh boy! what am i going to sew today???!!!"  I wanted to sell a bunch of my collection so i could go to my high school reunion(40th!) in october. i have never been to one. my son said, "why don't you sell your serger and use the money?" i said no, i don't want to get rid of my machines. i still want to sew, for myself and my friends and family. and i can still do custom work. i have great ideas, but they don't always come thru in the finished product. maybe i just never discovered who i was, and that was why it wasn't working. maybe i need more skill(i do). maybe later on, i'll follow through in these things and open up a new store.
so now, i'm going to concentrate on photography.  i have had several shows of my photos and my art. i have sold both. i want to get back to showing, and selling prints. i already am serious about it...but not in a "i have to do this" way. i think i want to paint too again, but i don't know where that is going to fit back in. i am following my inner voice. this feels right. i appreciate all your comments and feedback, keep it coming, because it really helps. xxx
oh! and everything in the store is 40-50% off . come get a good deal xoxoxo

1 comment:

thewonderfulhappens said...

I can understand this. I've been gung-ho about things and then just wanted to stop for awhile and do something else. Doesn't mean you love it any less, and who knows, you might come back to it later, or sew just for yourself, just for fun!
Do what makes you happy!